Gino D’Acampo Makes Meatballs on a Boat

Hey.  Hello.  Welcome to Gino’s Big Italian Cook-Out.  Apologies to those of you who are watching because of a misprint in the Radio Times.

Today, I’m in the beautiful Bay of Napoli, on board my boat; La Signora Giardino, which is in English called The Lady Garden.  I call it this because is my favourite place to visit.

Gino D'Acampo

I am gonna make a speciale recipe for you all today, and it is so simple to do.  It’s, how you say, easy peasy squeezy lemons.  Meatballs.

First, you gonna need some meat.  Is important to use good quality mincing meat and to use two kinds.  One is beef.  Have to be beef.  The other I use today is pork, but you can use lamb, venison, anything you like, wild boar, zebra, whatever.

Mix the two meats in the bowl, with some herbs.  I like to use basil, thyme and origami.  You will also need garlic.  Lots of it.  People say that you should not be kissing after you eat the garlic, but this is a lot of Poppy’s cock.  Garlic is an aphrodisiac.  Actually, all Italian food is aphrodisiac because we like to make the love all the time.  Sometimes, I make the love with my wife even when she is sleeping.  She don’t mind.  I’m Gino D’Acampo.

OK so we have mix the meat and the herbs, and now we have to roll our balls.   Take a little ‘andful of the meat and roll it into a ball about as big as a golf ball.  You can make them bigger if you want a bigger mouthful, but no more bigger than a egg, or is hard to cook in the middle.  There is nothing badder than ‘aving your balls too soft.  Your balls ‘ave to be firm to touch, and juicy.  Why you laughing?  What?  So we cook them off for a little time in some oil.  Make sure is a good olive oil.  People talk about first press, cold press and all of this.  My oil is from Sicily, where children climb the tree to pick the olives and then we press them one at a time, between the lady breasts, while a orchestra plays Paganini, and the Italia 90 World Cup is on the television.  You can buy this oils in Waitrose.

When your balls are brown, take them out and let them rest.  Is important to give your balls a rest sometime.  But only while you get your speciale sauce ready.

Chop up some good fresh plum tomatoes.  You can use a tinned tomatoes if you don’t live near here, because tomatoes in UK have no taste.  Put in a pan and cook them gently with some more basil and garlic.  Add a pinch of salt and some pepper.  A little bit of sugar.  Let it simmer for about 20 minutes and then gently lower your balls in it.  What’s so funny, guys?

Don’t be stirring it all around, because you don’t want to be damaging your balls.  Just let them sit in the sauce, gently cooking for another ten minutes.

Take them from the heat and cook your pasta.  This goes really well with all kinds of pasta, but today I’m a use the Tagliatelle, just because it makes ladies have smiles in the downstairs when I say Tagliatelle.

Tagliatelle.

Tagliatelle.

Rigatoni.

Farfalle.

Tenaladi.

Tagliatelle.

You’re welcome, ladies.

Bring some water to a boil, and put plenty salt in it.  We say in Italy, the water has to be as salty as the Mediterranean Sea, so don’t be afraid of salt.  They tell me that too much salt can cause the stroke, but come on, who doesn’t enjoy a stroke, right ladies?

When you pasta is cooked, add it to the saucy balls and serve hot with some fresh basil on the top, and there you ‘ave it;  Gino’s Balls.

Join me next week, when I’ll be in a field.

 

More posts to make you smile

 

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